i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
