on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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