Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
