Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
