We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
