Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
