So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
