I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
