dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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