My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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