He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
