Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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