What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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