I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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