I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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