well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
