talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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