I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
