Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
