I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
