Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize