Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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