Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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