We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
