I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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