Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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