the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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