Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
