That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize