addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
