Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This is my gift to your gina
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All the doctor said was why
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
