lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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