And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
