8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
