Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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