Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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