I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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