That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
