she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
