fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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