Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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