Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
