Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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