you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
