i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
