Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize