That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
