The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
