it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
