Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
