she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
