ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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