I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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