So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
