Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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