I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
