I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
