You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
