I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
