This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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