I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
