i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize