two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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