nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize