grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
